A state of inertia

I feel I am in a state of inertia, wanting nothing to ever change or time to stand still or just to pause a certain part of my life. Perhaps I really need a break, a super duper long break of just doing... nothing. Yet I have only 12 days of leave and that translates to 2 weeks of paid leave, which is not enough! I want to take 1 month off if possible but I cannot quit just like that. It's frivolous.

Taking MC is not fun as you cannot really go out and have fun in peace for fear of people catching you or calling you at home. And it's only just 1 or 2 days. I want a longish break and my work can pause in the air such when I go back, everything is just where I left it. Sounds like the "pause" button of a remote control. Reminds me of this movie "Click" by Adam Sandler.

Inertia, inertia, inertia.

I look like “Tare Panda”???

Yes I like "Tare Panda" but looking like it is another thing! Hehe... Anyway it is really strange, as I have been sleeping well over 8 hours for the past few days. Yet I feel as if I have not slept all. I think it must be the chocolates I have been consuming before going to sleep each night!

Oops. I shall try my hardest darnest to not eat chocolates from tonight onwards...

Monday blues on a Sunday...

I dread going to work. I hate the environment there, feel like my life has been in a vacuum for 2 years. And I quarrelled with that dumb admin manager last Friday. Shouting match. She's dumb lazy. I just want to leave straight away!

Anyway I have 2 interviews this week, went to at least 6 to 8 interviews already and feeling really tired. I am too lazy to go for interviews and to prepare for them. And then too lazy to portray that I am really interested in the job when truthfully there are some I am not really 100% interested. Maybe it all boils down to I don't even know what I want to do. And I don't have the relevant experience.

Maybe I don't mind a sucky job but nice colleagues and a nice environment to stay long term. Maybe I will go and be a teacher after I get married and have kids. Haha.

I am lost.

I really cannot stand it anymore...

I really cannot stand it anymore. I hate working at my current place now! Sigh. I used to be all right but now it is getting quite unbearable that I keep thinking of elsewhere other than my office. I bloody hate my office now. Super sick. Someone actually asked me to help him scan some stuff so he can use it in his sales meeting. Well, I support the sales people but I am not their personal assistant. There is a secretary. Ok he asked me politely and with a “Please”. BUT, I have a degree and so does he. Why do I have to do all these shit jobs? There is a line between job-related and these are all dumb ad-hoc things they ask me to do. Gosh, I really think they are becoming too reliant on me. Very irritating.

Aiyah, I don’t know. I just get irritated when they keep asking me to do things nowadays. Everything also I do, everything also I monitor. Things go wrong then tell me how to do things. I am not that free, I have so many projects to do and make sure they run well. Arghz. Recently one of them also asked me to why one project did not do so well and said I have to monitor it twice weekly. I was thinking I not so free although none of you have access to the systems, I am gonna make sure you have access to it. Everytime ask me check this check that check this check that. I am getting very tired of all this nonsense. No recognition also. In a horrible, cold company. Sick. Now I just do my work and knock off at 6pm sharp. Sad to say that I am no longer punctual these days and I really cannot be bothered. I now declare that my super duper very happiest time of the day is going home time! I literally fly out like a dragon.

Anyway, doubt the hotel will call me back for further interviews.

A confidence booster!!

The day after Labour day, I went for an interview with a top-notch hotel and I was really nervous. First of all, I was quite surprised that they actually called me up to see them. I started to feel inadequate that my job experience and skills doesn’t match what they are looking for. Was seriously considering calling them up and not going. However, I went in the end as it’s too good a chance to give up. Of course, I prayed to God to help me if this is the job meant for me and to know that if I do my best, He will do the rest.

So early that morning at 8.30am, I went with trepidation. The first stage was a written test. I was kind of just expecting either a grammar test or a brochure writing test but little did I expect a marketing communications “exam”. There were at least 20 candidates in the cold and freezing ballroom and everyone was extremely serious. It did not help that the hotel staff were all in uniform and very well-groomed and well, serious. Thank goodness I wore a suit. I saw one candidate with a tube top. That’s kind of crazy, even for a written test. Anyway the paper had questions to test your knowledge on the hotel, photo critique, translation, how to write a press release, media invitation and lastly an advertising & promotions suggestion. I took about an hour plus but when I left, there were still more candidates writing frenetically. It was a really challenging test and showcased what aspects the marketing communications executive will face.

Ok, that’s the first stage. Very exhaustive. I felt I would flunk it given that I never done some of the abovementioned tasks before. Must start learning.

Then the HR person said they will assess the written tests and call you back in the afternoon to meet the director of marketing communications. Wow, I was kept in suspense the time I finished the test till after lunch, when they called me. The suspense was killing me and I kept on praying to God that I have impressed them and that I will make it through to the second round. At about 2.45pm, I finally received a call from the hotel. Good news!!! I was one of the 6 candidates shortlisted and they made me rush back to the hotel for an interview half hour later. Oh well. If you really want the job. I was over the moon when I heard the good news and kept thanking God.

Yet as I traveled to the hotel, I started to feel nervous again and doubtful of my own abilities. Nonetheless, I gritted my teeth and went through the interview, asking God to bring me through it and leave the outcome in His hands. I did not answer some questions properly so I really don’t know how it will turn out. In addition, circumstances may not favour me as the director is due to give birth super soon and needs someone fast. She will not be there personally to coach the person as well. Hmm… In any case, thank goodness, she said she was impressed with what I wrote. At least that boosts my confidence somewhat. However, I only have a 16% chance (100/6)!!! Ok, pray pray pray.