A new beginning

• I am starting work tomorrow at my new place.
• Having butterflies in my stomach.
• Missing my old workplace (but yah it will go away soon), actually missing my colleagues lahzz.
• Feeling proud of my old workplace over the NKF saga (the only time I felt proud of its journalistic integrity).
• Wondering what to wear.
• Dreaming about my darling guy.
• Trying to clean up my room to signify ...
  

A NEW BEGINNING!

Love

I am in love.

Well, yes! I am in love with him, all over again.

Who is he? The one boy dearest to my heart; Jon.

There's this phrase of wisdom that says that it's good to fall in love all over again with your other half (OH - as my cousin terms it), as it improves your r/s & let you discover more about your OH.

I totally agree.

Though I dunno why I feel like I am falling in love with him all over again, I must say that he's one of the best things that happened to me with his peace-loving character and gentle mannerisms. Yes, he does have moods but he takes really good care of me and makes me feel like a pampered (sometimes spoilt) little princess whenever I am or not with him. Most importantly, he's stable and doesnt like to look for thrills, which means he will be faithful. (I trust so)

I am really grateful and thankful that I met him. =)

The Confrontation

What's that? Well. It does sound like a confrontation to me anyway. Haha.

He asked me to meet him for lunch on Monday as he needed to talk to me. I was unhappy that he had to show up at my office unannounced again. Awkward silence fell on us as I ate my rice burger at Mos burger, not bothering to look up or talk as I felt that everything had been clarified. He had this vindictive and reprimanding look on his face.

What he said to me made me really angry and peeved. I didnt understand why he was turning the tables on me, twisting the facts and blaming it on me. I know rejection is not easy for both parties but it has to be done. I guess he didnt understand why I dont like him either. Though I knew him 3 to 4 years ago from business school in university, I hated it when he displayed his honeyed talkative tongue, his arrogance and sense of self-fulfilling nobility.

Back then about 3 years ago, we had gone out with each other almost 2 to 3 times a month. Sometimes it would be more. I treated it as a friends' outing but later on as the outings became more and more frequent and he became more and more persistent, I started to wonder. Cos it's like if I said this week I wasnt free, he would ask about the next and nail the outing then. I felt slightly caged, I wanted to go out with other friends but I was too soft-hearted and not glib enough to reject more often.

One day I couldnt take it any longer. My thoughts went like, "Why is he asking me out so often, is there something going on?, Does he treat me as a friend or what? Is he using me just to fill up his time while he's on the lookout for other girls?" So I had to clarify our relationship and lucky I did. He said everytime he went out with me, it was just a friends' outing and not a date. I lessened my time out with him then on, thinking how dumb I was. I was just a filler for his time, really! (I even spent 1 Valentine's day having coffee and listening to him talk about avoiding his "gf" of 4 days cos he felt that he made a move on the wrong gal, love wasnt what he imagined to be).

So when he asked me what about the times he went cycling with me, what about the time I went Sentosa on his free tickets and all the other outings, I really wanted to scream. I wanted to tell him to wake up to his ideas and get his bloody facts right.

You were the one who said we were only going out as friends, nothing special about it. Get it straight. This was the common understanding we had from 2003 onwards. If your feelings changed and you started to feel that going out with me was now a date, I didnt know, you didnt tell. You assumed. It's not my fault. We had a MOU - memorandum of understanding! Dont you get it?!

We went cycling and toured Sentosa in 2003. That was 2 years back. You said your feelings changed sometime late 2004. So these events are of a DIFFERENT time period.

Ultimately, just get your facts straight.

Dont blame it on me that I have someone dear to my heart now. Dont say I led you on, I never did. I avoided going out with you 90% of the time, I turned more quiet during our conversations - you hogged them; you never took the hints.

Just piqued

Piqued. Which means I am pissed! And why so?

Well, 2 weeks ago, a guy friend asked me if he could bring our relationship further up another level as he felt it was no longer as simple as friendship itself. I wasnt shocked as I had anticipated it some 1 month ago. He just showed up at my office lobby as and when he liked and asked me out for lunch, bought me cakes at least 3 times a week (which I could grow fat on!) and called me Every night to chit chat anything and everything under the sun. When he called, I told my dad I didnt want to answer, to say I was sleeping and I purposely switched off my handphone around 8pm so he wont be able to get me if he called around 10pm or even earlier.

I didnt like this attention. It wasnt sincere, he's just doing it blindly to show me that he now treated me differently. For one, I hate nonsensical surprises. Giving me cakes so often isnt my idea of a nice Frequent surprise. It's 1 thing to love desserts but it's another thing to have it almost Everyday.

Secondly, I hate it when a guy with such motives to show up at my office in full view of my colleagues. Though they are not very kpo, but I just dont like it. Unless I bring my boyfriend to my office, I dont mind. Just dont show up unannounced. And given this guy's character, I know this guy will also try to make friends with the rest of my colleagues by saying "hello!", etc.

Sorry to say this but I shuddered at the thought of this.

I tried avoiding him a few days into his antics and he still didnt get the hints. So during the weekend I took advantage of my illness and told him that my boyfriend was taking me to see the doctor as I had flu and told him not to disturb me as I need rest. That afternoon, he tried calling me so many times, handphone, house phone, sms. I didnt pick up the phones and turned my mobile to silent mode. It was irritating to me and devastating to him but I knew I had to do it.

Then on Monday, he came to my office again and asked me to have lunch with him. I had a shock and was extremely unhappy but I went for lunch anyway and had a "confrontation" with him.

Conclusion: I told him that we had best not contact each other for the time being. It has been that way since 2 weeks ago. So far, peace has prevailed.