Snow

No, it is not snowing in Singapore. Rather, I am snowed under my work. Just that there are so many campaigns going on and each campaign has different issues to grapple with. I feel totally lost today, wishing that I can just throw everything aside and go for a super duper longish break. Or just sit in a cafe and watch the world go by while sipping leisurely a cup of nice tea or coffee. That reminds me, one of the things I want to do is to go for an English tea buffet and drink from fine china. Nice idea.

Super duper pissed x infinity!!!

Sumiko Tan wrote about how she dreads Mondays at work in the Sunday Times. I totally agree with her. It’s always tough trying to “get your engine” started. Anyway it’s only Tuesday but I have been absolutely thoroughly and horribly pissed off, I just feel like declaring myself off from work for the rest of the week. I wish I could.

Anyway, I am so pissed, I am so pissed, I am so pissed, I am so pissed, I am so pissed, I am so pissed, I am so pissed, I am so pissed, I am so pissed, pissed, pissed, pissed! I wore a black face for 2 days already and I think I probably looked like I can kill. You know what, I absolutely detest this colleague of mine. She likes to play the “blame” game and her work “tai chi” is very good. When the boss asks her to do something, she will ask another person to do it and then give to the boss. Credit she take, errors she pinpoint that “Oh, so-so gave me the figures.”, “So-so did this”. She does not do it to me all the time of course some other colleague is at the worse receiving end because she is such a doormat. However I was so mad for this particular incident because the boss wanted some figures and she, as usual, told the boss, “Ok, I get Amy to check.” When this roly-poly woman told me about it, I was asking her a lot of questions because I don’t want to do it and find that it is not what is needed. I kept asking her what the purpose of it was for but she couldn’t tell me and kept on saying the boss wants it, you cannot get it from the system, you do it manually.

HEY! It’s not that I don’t want to do, it’s just that I already explained that this is not the correct way of deriving the figures and the system is not able to do it AND it’s a waste of time doing it as it is already wrong. I thought I will check with my Europe counterparts so I waited till evening and she had the cheek to ask me whether it’s done. She had the bloody cheek to tell me, oh this multiply by that, can you do it? Hello!! She is so free, everyday gossip on the phone and come to office eat breakfast for at least half an hour, she can jolly well find out a way to do it. Or simply just ask the person who sent her the figures how to do it. Simple matter, blown out of proportion just because she wants to delegate to people to do. Just cannot stand her attitude where she likes to throw balls in her court to other people.

Anyway I am not a pushover and I really gave her face. Today I overhead her talking on the phone about one of her friends’ daughter who just started work and always work late because she is a push-over and do things meekly. She even commented that this person has no “office survival” skills. Well, now I know why this woman is like a guerilla, so aggressive and scheming. Always do things to show boss that she’s working but behind actually… ah…

Bloody fxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx sianz. I really don’t feel like working. Anyway no prospects here also. So what if my managers think of me highly? I cannot grapple with such a horrid slippery woman. You know, the kind who pretends to be all nice and helpful in front of the boss and managers but oppress peers or subordinates? In any case, I will rejoice the day I don’t have to return here.

Whatever it is, I am glad I was fierce to her because I think today she dare not come near me or talk to me. Well, sorry, you have irked me enough and I am the kind of person that if you ruffle my feathers or wrong me, it takes a large amount of pleasantries or effort to try to make up. Perhaps a few days. Perhaps when I have stopped being angry, I will be cordial.

I finally got cable TV!

I finally got cable tv! And I realised somehow I can watch ALL channels from Discovery Channel to CNN to AXN to TVBS to ESPN, etc. That’s really strange cos I know there are not so many channels in the groups subscribed. Shhhhh…

Actually I don’t really like sitting in front of the TV and being a couch potato but yes, there are so many interesting channels to watch. Think the novelty will wear off in awhile. Besides my computer is spoilt and remains unfixed!!

Anyway I can declare that I am smart because I was the only one in the family who could fix the cables and tune the TV. My mum read the manual and still got the instructions wrong. I took one look, ok few looks at the manual and what my mum did and she fixed the wrong wires. So, I told her what to take out and proceeded to tune the TV. Of course, it was a hilarious evening because she was trying to be the smart ass and tune it her way, according to her interpretations of the manual while I was musing away on the instructions. In the end, it was still me who got to the Starhub Digital Channel. Duhazz..

Just as well, my dad can watch it in the day when he’s free or so he will have something to do and my mum can hog it at night. At least the cable tv can keep both of them at home and occupy my retiree dad. Sometimes I feel that he can be quite lonely as all of us are busy with our own lives. Normally I try to go home for dinner with him but hopefully the TV can keep him occupied. Yah, why don’t he get a job? Well…

Nothing exciting, sorry!

My computer is playing hide and seek with me as sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, so I cannot really blog about my recent activities. Not much time to do so either. Writing requires concentration and creative juices, maybe for me only.

Well, I have not been exercising for close to a fortnight and my tummy’s getting rounder by the minute! Ok, must get back my routine asap if not my back will start hurting from sitting too much at work.

Real busy at work again. When will I get a good breather to just sit there and stone? Hmm… On the other hand, I have been thinking about making a career switch into communications. Maybe I should just stay put in my current job as I do not hate the job and it’s a comfortable lifestyle I am leading right now. Enough time to shop, exercise, and laze in bed during the weekends, surf a little bit of Internet during office hours, etc, etc. Do I really want to stay like that forever or should I find something I feel that I like and matches my strengths too? I also realised it may be pretty difficult as I do not have relevant experience and I am not very willing to take a pay cut. Kind of lazy to go for interviews too. Sometimes my determination gets me down and I start feeling like my future is so bleak. Hmm… In addition, my computer cranked up on me! So I cannot use it now. Well, well, well. Nonetheless, I believe that God will help me through it as He knows my desires and in His time He will do what’s good for me. I just need to keep on praying! Matthew 7: 7-11 says "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. 9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Anyway, to prepare myself for this field, I will try to read up on PR, Journalism, Advertising, how to write press releases, etc. Perhaps to learn more of the software required too. Think I shall visit the libraries and bookstores more often instead of just lazing around at home. The beginning is always tough, I always feel like I want to rest on my laurels again; like a plant needing water to become firm again instead or turgid. Haha. Press on, Amy! Press on!

Sorry, boring ramblings... =(

Down, down and never up?

I have been feeling down recently. Especially having busied myself since December and not much chance of rest or rather time out for myself. To really focus on what I want to do for the future, my direction and basically just to de-stress and to re-focus and to feel ready to take on the world and to get back into pace. I just feel so out of breath, so out of sync, I am just living day-to-day.

You know, the feeling like you just want to throw everything aside and be carefree for a few days? I wish I can do that but I don’t know how. Potter at home? Go for a holiday alone? I need ME-time. Or maybe I am so out of sync with God.

I bought a new handphone!

Yippee!! I finally took the plunge and changed my phone to a swanky new Samsung 3G Ultra 13.8 and it’s in black. Courtesy of Singtel, the only provider which has the latest model in black and with a free 512MB microSD card thrown in!

However, my heart really bleeds for this phone as I paid $400 for it. Super expensive but I like the slide, I like the colour, I like the brand name, I like the big LCD screen, I like that I can change ringtones and message tones and I like the vivid screen colours. The front and rear cameras are good too. Plus it's 3G. So, out comes the $$. I reasoned that after all I can use the phone for at least 2 years or more and maybe get a free model when my contract ends in future. Hehe. At least my phone should have trade-in value?

But still heart pain. Heart pain. Heart pain.

Grumblings

It’s Friday and I finally have some free time to myself. A whirlwind week again and I stayed past 6pm. Sigh. Luckily, people here don’t work late like past 7pm. However, it’s not nice being the last person in my office leaving for home and feeling miserable because I am stuck at work and the sun has set. Argh.

Staying back at work makes me feel grouchy too and if I get to the MRT station and have to wait 5 mins or more, my mood will turn black. Can’t SMRT understand that we are just super eager to get home and laze on the sofa? To make things worse, the MRT will be super crowded and people will not move to the middle. Recently, I have taken to pushing my way into the middle of the carriage or even asking people to move in. If the train is crowded and packed, I will wait but don’t let me see a big pocket of space somewhere and everyone is stuck at the dumb door. I will suddenly turn into an uncouth monster and broadcast to the other people to move. By broadcasting, I mean I will speak LOUDLY. And thereafter show a bloody black face. The most irritating thing that I have seen to date is a family with many kids and a pram with them but the kid is not sitting in the pram. For goodness sake, during rush hour, you leave a big pram in the middle?! Can’t you just bloody fold it up and not obstruct space??? After awhile, the family got up to leave with the mother pushing the empty pram in a super packed carriage and everyone had to try to make way. For an empty pram. Some people are just brainless.

Yes, more grumbling. Lifts! I hate it when there are funny pockets of space left in the lift and no one wants to move in. I will and I have done it before, asked people to move in and pushed my way through. Sorry but I do like to irritate people. By and large, Singaporeans do not have much courtesy! Horrible.

I hate CNY

Thought that I better blog this before the CNY ends this Sunday. I bet lots of people had fun during the first few days of CNY but I was thoroughly bored with house visiting and eating. CNY is not an exciting event for me because first of all, I don’t eat a lot and I do not really care for those goodies. I will eat them but sparingly and not to the point of gorging myself. Even for bak kwa, I think I ate less than 1 big slice added up together. Secondly, I don’t gambling and don’t find it interesting. Mahjong or bridge may be a good game to train the brain to strategize but I can never play mind games or strategize well. Not interested in winning people’s money either. And my older relatives always hog the mahjong table or poker cards so those of my generation cannot sit properly at the table to play for fun. Thirdly, CNY is a time where I have to face relatives asking me the usual questions and after that, it’s a silent stare at the TV. Argh.

Last but not least, I dislike seeing strange people during CNY; especially relatives who have disappeared for years and appeared again for no apparent reason. Why do I say that? I have 2 uncles who like to do this disappearing act. One is the older uncle and the other the younger. I am fine with the older one because he will give ang bao when he visits and his family is friendly to us. Sometimes he doesn’t visit because I hear from my mum, he either goes to Malaysia or on holiday or just don’t want to meet us that year. But it’s ok because I feel he is genuine and he will catch up with us by asking questions in a humorous way. This is still tolerable. The younger one, I got a shock when I saw him this year because I cannot remember how long he disappeared, maybe three, four years. And when he came, he sulked with a black face and sat there like a stone. No ang bao, yes, his wife gave but they are estranged. I will never forget how he once came to my house and threatened to slap me for being disrespectful to him. I will never forget at that point of time, I could have taken a broom and chase him out or catfight with him. That’s why when I saw him; I took it as he was invisible. I will never forget how awfully he behaved. You must be thinking why I dislike, no hate him so much. Well, let’s just say he likes to sow his oats and leave his sisters (my aunts) to clean up the mess for him. And of all people, China girls! He never like to work for people and is super arrogant, thinking he is of businessman material. My aunts are too kindhearted to give him money and help him out each time. There’s one thing I cannot tolerate and that is if a person can help himself, he does not and rely on others and does all kinds of dumb things. Worst of all is to think that the whole world owes him a living. Don’t expect me to be respectful to these kind of people. Seriously, I look down on these kind of people and tremendously too. If you are humble, I am ok but don’t expect me to pay tribute or fawn on you like some celebrity. And I do not care if you are my uncle or my older cousin.

Oh, this brings me to another point. This year, I also saw some cousins I never seen for years. I think at least six years because they were all in their twenties and I was still in JC or something. Now I have worked nearly 4 years and they are in their thirties and suddenly appeared. Why? One is a financial planner aka insurance advisor and the other, I don’t know and don’t bother. Sorry but I truly dislike people with motives. I rather you not appear at all and for me, if I am in their shoes, I will not appear at all too.

So you can see, I carried a black face during CNY. Ah well. Anyway, this CNY was the first time I ever bought a red top, though the red top looks abit like a red lantern but I like it. It’s not Over-The-Top. Hehe. Also, this CNY I was smarter. Haha. I brought a book with me to read during all my house visits although I know it’s kind of anti-social but I don’t care, I don’t give a damn. I am not going to waste my time watching hours and hours of TV.

2 Mar 07 - CNY is ending. Finally. It spells relief.