I know someone whom I thought I used to like as a friend. Now I Hate? Dislike? Loathe? him. I don’t know. Me got to know him through a mutual friend in uni. Found him funny at first and inquisitive at first but these traits made him more and more irritating when coupled with that arrogance and selfishness of his.
Why do I say he’s arrogant and selfish?
He thinks he’s good-looking, tall and smart when he’s not. It shows in the way he walks, with his chest so greatly put out in front of him and this smirk on his face. Arrogance is shown in his speech too. He can talk non-stop about anything under the sun and twist facts? I used to think that was interesting BUT that was in the beginning.
He used to call me nightly or alternate to chit chat. If I didn’t answer my handphone, he would call my house phone and I would kindly oblige by listening to him. I admit that while I was still in uni, my main aim was to ask him for advice as he was working and I was a nubile in school. That progressed till I started work but after I was quite inaugurated into the working world, I guess, I learnt to stand on my own feet.
I can be much of a doormat at times, letting things go and not standing up for myself if I don’t see the need to fight for it. Which I guess is one reason I allowed him to step all over me, and take me for granted as a friend and to “use” me?
Even at times where he put me down, he said I wasn’t pretty, wasn’t polished enough, asked me to go to do my nails, my hair, dress trendier, etc. I heard what he said though I didn’t bother to heed his advice, I made a mistake by allowing him to put me down. Granted, in uni, I often wore jeans and blouses or T-shirts because I was lazy to dress up and I carried a haversack and my main priority was my grades. But he shouldn’t have put me down like that all the time for such a long period, which I tolerated and because he said he’s being frank as a friend. However, no friend puts you down, a friend advises you. Yet when he saw me this year, he says working has really changed my physical appearance. Gosh.
Besides talking on the phone nightly, I often went out with him. Initially it was because he was different and so it was interesting. Then it became difficult to turn him down, especially when he was going to the same places that I was going. And I was really soft-hearted although I felt he was really an attention needy guy. And that’s his selfishness. He didn’t think of how his comments would hurt people or how his actions will encroach on others’ time or whatever.
I certainly don’t love such a friend but then again, I don’t know what to feel. Perhaps avoidance is best.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
my 1st time... with acupuncture
Acupuncture? Eeks.. When I heard that I got scared. I was back at the doctor for a follow-up consultation. and he told me the next thing he would do is acupuncture. Erm. I was alone at that time, no one to root me on!!! But I decided to give it a try and really let my ankle HEAL.
Thankfully, it was amazing after all. The needles were small and thin (like 0.4mm, 0.5mm those kind). The doc poked needles into strategic locations of my leg, especially my ankle and hooked the needles up to some electrical machine to send electric pulses to my nerves. It was good though my leg felt numb for a while and it got abit itchy for some minutes. But after 20 mins of therapy, my ankle was amazingly lighter or less tight and I could walk so much better. The whole process was quite relaxing and I fell asleep for some minutes. The needles that they used were disposable needles so it was quite sterile and clean.
So, contrary to common opinion that sinsehs are no good, I think this branch or this company is amazing. They are professional, the clinic's VERY clean & airconditioned, doctor's uniforms are clean, the beds are clean... Wow! What's more intriguing was that I was given some bitter chinese medicine to drink. No need to brew, instant one. Just place it in lukewarm water and drink!! And these came in neat, sterile sachets that were sealed for each day's consumption.
I am totally bowled over by TCM at Ma Kuang now. Yeah.
Thankfully, it was amazing after all. The needles were small and thin (like 0.4mm, 0.5mm those kind). The doc poked needles into strategic locations of my leg, especially my ankle and hooked the needles up to some electrical machine to send electric pulses to my nerves. It was good though my leg felt numb for a while and it got abit itchy for some minutes. But after 20 mins of therapy, my ankle was amazingly lighter or less tight and I could walk so much better. The whole process was quite relaxing and I fell asleep for some minutes. The needles that they used were disposable needles so it was quite sterile and clean.
So, contrary to common opinion that sinsehs are no good, I think this branch or this company is amazing. They are professional, the clinic's VERY clean & airconditioned, doctor's uniforms are clean, the beds are clean... Wow! What's more intriguing was that I was given some bitter chinese medicine to drink. No need to brew, instant one. Just place it in lukewarm water and drink!! And these came in neat, sterile sachets that were sealed for each day's consumption.
I am totally bowled over by TCM at Ma Kuang now. Yeah.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Growing up pains
Growing up changes relationships, especially friendships.
Been musing over it for quite some time yet I never seemed to find a satisfactory conclusion nor a resolution. I noticed the changes ever since I stepped into Uni, my group of close friends didn’t meet as much as when we were in JC. Perhaps then we were in the same class, we saw each other everyday. Yet in Uni, even when we saw each other in class, it wasn’t like before. We had so many things in front of us to bother about and grades was all on their our minds. Well, I could throw those aside for awhile, school was just school. Lunch was hurried, time was spent in the library mugging. The care-free life was gone. The time to smell the roses was gone?
I began to see less and less of them and others.
Paddle on 2 years later, I have started working and contact became really minimal. The number of times we meet in a year are like maybe the number of fingers you have on one hand or two. And when we meet, we tend to “catch up” by summarizing our lives in one or two hours meal we have together. A summary of some sentences. Or there are some of my friends who busy themselves with so much activities that when I “book” them one to two weeks in advance, they are unavailable. No point booking them one month in advance either, cos they won’t be free suddenly too.
Is it true that as people grow older, they keep less friends? Is it just girls? Guys can bond over a soccer game WITHOUT talking or even if they have not seen each other in years. It seems like heart-to-heart talks don’t exist anymore when you grow older and other things occupy your time and attention or is it one have built up a wall so much so to protect oneself such that others cant get in.
Or maybe it’s me that no one wants to open up to me. Or have a heart-to-heart talk with me anymore. It seems difficult to get people to meet and sometimes we are like strangers. Yet I don’t think I have changed much, just still as naïve.
I guess I have learnt to manage my own feelings and solve my own problems internally and ultimately be independent.
Been musing over it for quite some time yet I never seemed to find a satisfactory conclusion nor a resolution. I noticed the changes ever since I stepped into Uni, my group of close friends didn’t meet as much as when we were in JC. Perhaps then we were in the same class, we saw each other everyday. Yet in Uni, even when we saw each other in class, it wasn’t like before. We had so many things in front of us to bother about and grades was all on their our minds. Well, I could throw those aside for awhile, school was just school. Lunch was hurried, time was spent in the library mugging. The care-free life was gone. The time to smell the roses was gone?
I began to see less and less of them and others.
Paddle on 2 years later, I have started working and contact became really minimal. The number of times we meet in a year are like maybe the number of fingers you have on one hand or two. And when we meet, we tend to “catch up” by summarizing our lives in one or two hours meal we have together. A summary of some sentences. Or there are some of my friends who busy themselves with so much activities that when I “book” them one to two weeks in advance, they are unavailable. No point booking them one month in advance either, cos they won’t be free suddenly too.
Is it true that as people grow older, they keep less friends? Is it just girls? Guys can bond over a soccer game WITHOUT talking or even if they have not seen each other in years. It seems like heart-to-heart talks don’t exist anymore when you grow older and other things occupy your time and attention or is it one have built up a wall so much so to protect oneself such that others cant get in.
Or maybe it’s me that no one wants to open up to me. Or have a heart-to-heart talk with me anymore. It seems difficult to get people to meet and sometimes we are like strangers. Yet I don’t think I have changed much, just still as naïve.
I guess I have learnt to manage my own feelings and solve my own problems internally and ultimately be independent.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
answers to my confusion
Hehe. I am no longer confused. And I decided I should accept guys as they are for things that nature has created them for. Though not for stuff that can be changed.
In response to my previous posting, I must say well, most guys behave this way. And it all boils down to their reduced ability to MULTI-TASK* or CONCENTRATE** . But hey, I can. I can eat, read the papers with the tv while waiting for an sms reply. I can go shopping and still think of a loved one or even sms away. Hmm... They also don't like to appear weak***. Or stop the pursuit after they've got the gal****.
*why do guys seem not eager to include their gfs into their "male" activities like watching kopitiam soccer or car racing or american pool or whatever?
**why when guys engage in "male" activities, they forget EVERYTHING including their gfs?
***why do guys like time off to get in touch in their feelings?
****why do guys only maintain but not improve the relationship after awhile?
That's the reason Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.
In response to my previous posting, I must say well, most guys behave this way. And it all boils down to their reduced ability to MULTI-TASK* or CONCENTRATE** . But hey, I can. I can eat, read the papers with the tv while waiting for an sms reply. I can go shopping and still think of a loved one or even sms away. Hmm... They also don't like to appear weak***. Or stop the pursuit after they've got the gal****.
*why do guys seem not eager to include their gfs into their "male" activities like watching kopitiam soccer or car racing or american pool or whatever?
**why when guys engage in "male" activities, they forget EVERYTHING including their gfs?
***why do guys like time off to get in touch in their feelings?
****why do guys only maintain but not improve the relationship after awhile?
That's the reason Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
confused
confused.
why do guys think a certain way or do certain actions?
why do guys seem not eager to include their gfs into their "male" activities like watching kopitiam soccer or car racing or american pool or whatever?
why do guys frown upon their gfs visiting cigarette smoke-infested pool areas for fear of the not-so-decent (read male-dominated) environment?
why when guys engage in "male" activities, they forget EVERYTHING including their gfs?
why do guys like time off to get in touch in their feelings?
why do guys not like talk about their problems just for the sake of talking?
Talking IS therapy.
why do guys try to minimise the interaction between their frens and their gfs?
why do guys not dare venture out with their gfs from their comfort zone as a couple even?
why do guys only maintain but not improve the relationship after awhile?
WHY?
** SNAGS not included.
why do guys think a certain way or do certain actions?
why do guys seem not eager to include their gfs into their "male" activities like watching kopitiam soccer or car racing or american pool or whatever?
why do guys frown upon their gfs visiting cigarette smoke-infested pool areas for fear of the not-so-decent (read male-dominated) environment?
why when guys engage in "male" activities, they forget EVERYTHING including their gfs?
why do guys like time off to get in touch in their feelings?
why do guys not like talk about their problems just for the sake of talking?
Talking IS therapy.
why do guys try to minimise the interaction between their frens and their gfs?
why do guys not dare venture out with their gfs from their comfort zone as a couple even?
why do guys only maintain but not improve the relationship after awhile?
WHY?
** SNAGS not included.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
unknown
Hmm… Sometimes I don’t know what to do in my life. I know stability and routine is good, but should we look for new stuff to try out, new activities, etc? Hmmm… I see other people trying out new stuff all the time; a new hair colour, a new eating place, a new club or pub.
Yet I cant be bothered to spend too much $$ on my hair (I do budget how much goes to my hair and I try to delay each haircut for as long as possible).
A new eating place? Depends. If you are talking about high class restaurants or posh joints, I might splurge but I don’t see the need to. I rather eat out at cheapo hawker centres or mass appeal restaurants. Look for new cheapo places then? Well, it’s almost the same anywhere. =)
New club or pub? Nah, not really interested, the company’s either not interested or not my type of company (I don’t drink like a fish).
Yet I cant be bothered to spend too much $$ on my hair (I do budget how much goes to my hair and I try to delay each haircut for as long as possible).
A new eating place? Depends. If you are talking about high class restaurants or posh joints, I might splurge but I don’t see the need to. I rather eat out at cheapo hawker centres or mass appeal restaurants. Look for new cheapo places then? Well, it’s almost the same anywhere. =)
New club or pub? Nah, not really interested, the company’s either not interested or not my type of company (I don’t drink like a fish).
Shop? New shop? If I really need it or like it. Well, I don't think we need that many clothes, won't get to wear so many either.
I think I shall stick to my old ways or rather I take calculated, deliberated changes. Try not to ask me what I did during my weekends, mostly it’s lazing at home? I think so. HAHA.
Friday, September 02, 2005
I don't know
What does a person look for in a job?
Actually I also do not know what I am looking for.
Sometimes I feel I am floating aimlessly in the corporate world.
Is it the reputation of the company that makes you feel you are worth it in the job?
Is it the salary and perks?
Is it the working culture or promotions available?
Or is it the people you work with?
Which would matter the most or which few? We cant expect to have all… I know that.
Am I in the job I aspired to be when I was in university? Is it relevant to my studies? I don’t know.
Actually I also do not know what I am looking for.
Sometimes I feel I am floating aimlessly in the corporate world.
Is it the reputation of the company that makes you feel you are worth it in the job?
Is it the salary and perks?
Is it the working culture or promotions available?
Or is it the people you work with?
Which would matter the most or which few? We cant expect to have all… I know that.
Am I in the job I aspired to be when I was in university? Is it relevant to my studies? I don’t know.
Project Superstar 2
I bet MCS has made milked every possible $$$ out of us.
The Project Superstar on Channel U is like a farce. How could the blind contestant win? (Yah, even though I knew that he would win in the end anyway). Isn’t this a contest about singing? It seems to be a contest about popularity since that 70% of votes are based on audience’s votes. *I bet MCS has milked every possible $$$ out of us.
A contest should have fair standards. So whether or not a person has disabilities, he or she should be judged according to the criteria: stage presence, singing, dress sense. Marks should be accorded on how well the person performed after putting in effort and not how much effort the person is (or tries to) put in.
Sympathy votes arise when the voter feels Kelvin has put in a lot of effort and has done remarkable things despite his disabilities. So to show a sense of admiration or encouragement, you vote. Yes, but I thought this is about SINGING? Voice quality? Be objective, forget about all the contestants’ backgrounds, etc. If you really judge on singing and stage performance, who should win?
Kelly & Junyang should have won.
Kelvin can sing better than average though he could do with more training BUT Kelly and Junyang are the real stars who shine on stage. Yes, we should applaud Kelvin for his efforts to come this far but save it for another occasion. This is a singing contest and MCS should change the criteria 50% judges and 50% votes, perhaps.
* Disclaimer: All non-malicious views are entirely the author's.
The Project Superstar on Channel U is like a farce. How could the blind contestant win? (Yah, even though I knew that he would win in the end anyway). Isn’t this a contest about singing? It seems to be a contest about popularity since that 70% of votes are based on audience’s votes. *I bet MCS has milked every possible $$$ out of us.
A contest should have fair standards. So whether or not a person has disabilities, he or she should be judged according to the criteria: stage presence, singing, dress sense. Marks should be accorded on how well the person performed after putting in effort and not how much effort the person is (or tries to) put in.
Sympathy votes arise when the voter feels Kelvin has put in a lot of effort and has done remarkable things despite his disabilities. So to show a sense of admiration or encouragement, you vote. Yes, but I thought this is about SINGING? Voice quality? Be objective, forget about all the contestants’ backgrounds, etc. If you really judge on singing and stage performance, who should win?
Kelly & Junyang should have won.
Kelvin can sing better than average though he could do with more training BUT Kelly and Junyang are the real stars who shine on stage. Yes, we should applaud Kelvin for his efforts to come this far but save it for another occasion. This is a singing contest and MCS should change the criteria 50% judges and 50% votes, perhaps.
* Disclaimer: All non-malicious views are entirely the author's.
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