A love-hate friend

I know someone whom I thought I used to like as a friend. Now I Hate? Dislike? Loathe? him. I don’t know. Me got to know him through a mutual friend in uni. Found him funny at first and inquisitive at first but these traits made him more and more irritating when coupled with that arrogance and selfishness of his.

Why do I say he’s arrogant and selfish?

He thinks he’s good-looking, tall and smart when he’s not. It shows in the way he walks, with his chest so greatly put out in front of him and this smirk on his face. Arrogance is shown in his speech too. He can talk non-stop about anything under the sun and twist facts? I used to think that was interesting BUT that was in the beginning.

He used to call me nightly or alternate to chit chat. If I didn’t answer my handphone, he would call my house phone and I would kindly oblige by listening to him. I admit that while I was still in uni, my main aim was to ask him for advice as he was working and I was a nubile in school. That progressed till I started work but after I was quite inaugurated into the working world, I guess, I learnt to stand on my own feet.

I can be much of a doormat at times, letting things go and not standing up for myself if I don’t see the need to fight for it. Which I guess is one reason I allowed him to step all over me, and take me for granted as a friend and to “use” me?

Even at times where he put me down, he said I wasn’t pretty, wasn’t polished enough, asked me to go to do my nails, my hair, dress trendier, etc. I heard what he said though I didn’t bother to heed his advice, I made a mistake by allowing him to put me down. Granted, in uni, I often wore jeans and blouses or T-shirts because I was lazy to dress up and I carried a haversack and my main priority was my grades. But he shouldn’t have put me down like that all the time for such a long period, which I tolerated and because he said he’s being frank as a friend. However, no friend puts you down, a friend advises you. Yet when he saw me this year, he says working has really changed my physical appearance. Gosh.

Besides talking on the phone nightly, I often went out with him. Initially it was because he was different and so it was interesting. Then it became difficult to turn him down, especially when he was going to the same places that I was going. And I was really soft-hearted although I felt he was really an attention needy guy. And that’s his selfishness. He didn’t think of how his comments would hurt people or how his actions will encroach on others’ time or whatever.

I certainly don’t love such a friend but then again, I don’t know what to feel. Perhaps avoidance is best.