A hated “friend”

I have this “friend” or ex-“friend” that I dislike immensely or rather we seemed to have developed so differently within a short span of 2 to 3 years. I wrote about him, this love-hate” friend previously.

I denounce this friendship because of all the conflicts that we had. I feel unburdened now! Most importantly, it was tiring having to pander to an attention-seeking person who needs your attention very often. Initially I obliged his requests and went out quite often with him but later on as I found my feet and started working, his behaviour became increasingly irritating.

I grew tired of talking to him on the phone daily as I knew he just wanted a listening ear to complain about his work and make himself out to be pitiful. Perhaps I was a listener with not much comments, which he found an "audience", so he liked talking to me. Sometime later, I discovered that he likes to exaggerate. And he can call 2 to 3 girls to talk to each night. From then onwards, I hugely discounted most things he told me.

He said many things that were hurtful. Though I didn’t really care much to bother to change myself according to what he said, I felt it was horrible of him to say such things to a girl. He said I was not feminine enough, not girly enough; I was too “man”. He said I was not pretty enough. He suggested that I should go for manicure, pedicures, dye my hair, wear feminine skirts, etc.

I hated whatever he said. It was like he wanted to mould me into this image of how a girl should behave. I think I have my own unique individuality.

He kept asking me out but he wasn’t interested in me actually. And he was touchy, he liked to touch my arms, hands and fingers or my back and lean close to me, especially whilst standing on the escalator. I was terribly confused by his attention and actions. I guessed he gave out the wrong signals and I confronted him but his reason was that he just treated me as a friend to go out with. That’s fine. However, I just felt he sub-consciously thinks he’s a Casanova, catching up with different girls each week and that he has a very exciting life going out with many different groups of friends.

The irony of ironies happened!! Recently last year, he told me he liked me. I didn’t give a pinch of salt to it but he was persistent. I was irritated with his calls especially during office hours. And that’s a horrible boo-boo. Also, I like cakes but I don’t like to eat them so often in a week and he kept buying those a few times a week and brought it to my office. Later on, he admitted they were just excuses to see me. I asked him his definition of a relationship and love. He also admitted that he thought we could try for a relationship. Oh, please. Is it because he's nearing thirty or people around him are getting married so his instincts are fired? I don't think you find any suitable gal on the street or wherever to try for a relationship. You try because and only because you like her.

Even if he and I got together, we would have never worked out because he is so self-centred and I have to give in to him or go with his decisions. There would be just too many compromises and constraints. I don’t know. To me, love should be innocent and love is wanted the best for the other person rather than yourself.

All these incidents made me more irritated and frustrated with him. I couldn’t stand him. I felt suffocated. It was the last straw. Then I told him I had someone already. Right at the end. Poetic justice? Haha.

Sayonara to you. If I ever meet you on the streets, I will never say hi to you again.